heaven forbid.

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 03:52:16 GMT

_{i am alone. utterly and completelly alone.
it doesnt matter who is around me, how many people are around me,
and if im happy or not.
i just can't shake the feeling that i am here, by myself.
and for the time being, i'm okay with that.
i'm not scared to be left with my own feelings for once,
because i need to figure myself out.

but i don't want to sound like a complete outcast, because i'm not.
i have friends, or what i call friends.
but i have four of the greatest girls in my life, period.
i love being close with emily again, she is an amazing person.
she knows how to handle every situation, and she knows to say the right things.
then there is brittany who is my twin, we are incredibly alike, and shes not afraid to be upfront,
and i need someone like that.
then there is kelly, who is nothing like me, but thats what i need, someone with a different perspective.
then eron, and words can't even describe our relationship,
through thick and thin, she will always remain my sister.
i am just glad to have a few people in my life that aren't using me.

this is pointless, but i have nothing to do.
today has been a bad day.}

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 00:16:35 GMT

We lied, we can't go on
This is the time and this is the place to be alive

The sea is wine red
This is the death of beauty
The doves have died
The lovers have lied.

Wed, 24 May 2006 01:51:20 GMT

_{and when we try to think of the life inside,
we found ourselves looking at the world through new eyes.
what can now be said?
oh, little one on the other side.
dance until the band stops playing,
sing with all your might.
mistakes we knew we were making.
don't think about chances we're taking,
don't think about rules we were breaking,
the list goes on and on.}

Tue, 09 May 2006 21:26:53 GMT

_{no lies, just love.}

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 22:11:40 GMT

i love my sister,
with all my heart,
and i am so thankful for her.
she held me together this weekend.
and i get to see her and howard friday
for the first time
in months.

but..
i miss him.

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 19:52:45 GMT

_{"humans cant live without each other. everyone needs drama, conflict and emotions in their lives. if one was just alone, it'd be boring, life would be dull, life would be shit, and the soul emotion felt would be loneliness. humans need other humans to thrive, no doubt, but they are also needed to survive. being by myself for my entire life would cause me to go insane, too many thoughts would be rushing through my head with no one to tell but myself, chances are you would find me dead within the first five months.

we need each other for conflict, we need conflict. everyone causes conflict or dramatic situations. its needed, its like the fucking air we breathe. no one wants a happy life, no one wants to live drama free. try living drama free, but dont bitch to me.

fear and love have been known as the two most basic human emotions. but with no one around, who is there to fear but yourself. and with no one around, who is there to love but yourself."}

it was a good day.

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 06:52:59 GMT

_{it will only get better.
i miss you biia.}

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 11:44:25 GMT

for real,
am i honestly
about to go to school?

and wtf was yesterday,
why did it hurt me so much
just to see him.
ughughguh,
hi im cortnee,
and im homosexual.

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 21:31:39 GMT

_{i just wanted everyone to experience
me on saturday.

and im justtt

kinda cool.}

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 02:12:09 GMT

i had a good day